a message from jeterville...

july 2000

take me back


july 31

So. How was YOUR last weekend in July???? Although I managed to sleep for 15 hours and change over 3 nights, mine was great!!! We managed to send July 2K out with a bang. And you????

Friday evening with extended jeterville residents at hildebrandville for wine and pre-planning for Saturday evening road trip.

Saturday morning golf that produced my best round ever! By far!

Saturday evening patio party at Chez Ralph -- downtown Seattle -- that included:

Jealous? You should be! It was a veritable orgy of subtle flavors that danced on our taste buds all night long -- MY GOD!!! My palate will never be the same. By the end of the evening both Carol and Susan were devising a plan where they could both marry Ralph!!!

After dinner we wandered up the hill to a way cool bar -- Manray -- for pre-dancing cocktails. The decor was a stark white with raised panels, cool lighting and video screens assaulting your senses from all angles. It was very reminiscent of the Milk Bar in Kubrick's 'A Clockwork Orange.'

Soon we arrived at Neighbours, where all 13 of us danced until we couldn't dance no more!!! What a night! Ralph did such a wonderful job on dinner and atmosphere -- nicely set tables, tropical foliage, candles, fine linens and burning tiki torches accompanied a killer menu! The psychedilic images flashing on CRT in Manray, and the masses of people dancing tribal fashion in one of Seattle's best dance clubs!!! A big tip to the young woman with chopped black hair, ssilver studded collar and low-cut leather mini-dress. My dear, you will live in my dreams for weeks!

Once again, we have established a new height for the extended jeterville resident party bar!!! All I want to know is -- Who's next???



july 27

It's time to play that extremely popular game of self-discovery:

"5 Things That Amaze Me About Myself."

I'll start with mine, then you can send me yours -- OK???


1. Considering how much divorce and addiction exists within my heritage, I am amazed that I am still married after 15 years with no serious vices.

2. Considering how bad my temper was when I was a teenager, I am amazed at just how calm I am now, even during times of extreme stress.

3. Considering how much I despised her a couple years ago, I am amazed at just how much I love Alanis Morisette's "Jagged Little Pill" CD.

4. Considering how passionate I am about so many things, I am amazed at how I am still able to admit when I'm wrong about something.
(See item #3)

5. Considering the severe lack of solid structure and the constant parade of bad examples while growing up, I am amazed that I ended up as a responsible, productive citizen instead of ending up dead or a constantly recovering ex-junky living in the gutter.


Shocking huh?!?! Yah, I know...

Whaddya' think???

Since you've all been waiting SO patiently for my SO-CAL TRAVELOGUE, I've decided to give you a picture with the hope that it stems some of that excited anticipation that must be killing you by now! (Yah, right...)

This one has all the permanent residents of Jeterville at Edison Field on June 24, 2000, where we watched the Angels lose to Minnesota 10-4. Click on the image to see a larger version. Don't worry, more pictures are coming.



july 25

Before I get into too much, I have a couple things to update. First of all, I AM still working on the travelogue -- really! I'm up to day 6 now, but have been so busy that it's been tough to finish up! Also, I DO have the pictures back, so I will be able to post some very soon. Now, on with the show...

Not much to say today.

I do want to wish a big fat HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to a couple of wonderful friends of mine at opposite ends of the bio rainbow -- Ariana, who is 19 today and R-dude who will be a bit closer to 40 when the clock strikes midnight. Run home Cinderella! The coach is starting to turn a very yucky shade of orange -- eeeeyooo! And I won't even mention what happened to the horses!

Of course I'm kidding!

R. and I have been friends for years and I don't think he's aged a day. Next time I'm over -- which will be Saturday -- I'll be checking for a portrait of an old man in his attic! Ariana on the other hand is just starting life in earnest! 40 is the furthest thing from her mind, as well it should be. GO ARIANA! GO! Oh! To be 19 again and know what I know now...


Now, as I mentioned earlier, I -- along with Pam, and nearly all the Sky Island neighbors -- will be going to Ralph's this weekend for a swell patio party, and then dancing at some of Seattle's finest clubs. We've all been looking forward to this mid-summer soiré since early June! It should be a hoot. Ralph is a great cook and has a menu planned that would make Julia Child feel inadequate. This is going to be so much fun! And should last well into Sunday morning! Plus, one really good thing about this party will be the balance. Whatever we gain from the food we eat will be lost in the sweat we generate on the dance floor!!!

SO! What are your plans for this weekend????

Last weekend was strange. It included a 50th birthday party for a friend of Pam's where most of the attendees were an odd mix of family members and co-workers; shopping in a lightening storm under a tent in a parking lot; and having our pictures taken for our pal Jimmy's sales presentation -- the things we do for our friends, ugh! The pictures are meant to convey what happens when you choose the wrong brand of champagne.

Know what I mean? No? Well, it's like this, if you choose the cheap stuff, you get what you pay for. However, if you choose the stuff Jimmy's company sells -- well -- I suppose the same applies.

STILL don't get it? Neither do I because Jimmy's company sells Cooks...

The Good Stuff...

Brand X...

Don't the women look FABULOUS!!! I KNOW!!!

On that note, I'll leave you to contemplate the brand of party beverages you have selected for your next Summer BBQ. Be sure to choose wisely my friend...


july 19

So I'm sitting here totally sleep deprived -- with a very sore elbow -- listening to Delerium, waiting for something exciting to happen. I'm pretty sure that I'm in for a REALLY LONG wait.


Why is my elbow so sore?

Well, let me tell you...

You see -- my youngest son is playing baseball in the Sumner Parks and Rec league this summer and I somehow got roped into being the bench coach for his team. It's primarily a babysitting job because fourteen 9 and 10 year olds can get a bit unruly if they aren't monitored. Most the time it's a whole lot of "Give that kid his hat back!"; "Stop pouring water on each other!" and "Quit spitting sunflower seeds at everyone!"

Anyway, at Monday night's game the kids were a bit more 'rambunctious' than usual. Near the end of the game, this one kid that I'd gotten after more than a few times in the first couple innings decides that it would be a good idea to take some batting practice -- inside the dugout!!! I disagreed, and decided to disarm him before someone got hurt. Just as I'm turning around to take the bat from him and give him a stern talking to about dugout safety -- !!!WHAM!!! -- the bat catches me square on the right elbow!


And with my arm bent, the bat easily collides with my elbow at its 'pointiest!'


So, after hopping up and down a couple times -- with tears welling up from the pain -- and surpressing the extremely profane rant that I desparately wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I carefully twisted the bat from his hands and gently escorted the young man to the bench where I proceeded to calmly deliver my originally planned safety speech -- despite the fact that my right elbow was killing me! Although I think the kid got the message, he never apologized and I'm pretty sure that he'll be right back doing the same thing next game.

My only saving grace was the fact that all this happened during the bottom half of the last inning, with 2 outs -- so I didn't have to wait very long before going home to an ice bag.

Anyway, here it is 2 days later and although the swelling has gone down, an inexplicable **CLICK** has developed in my elbow so that every time I bend my arm you hear it -- **CLICK**. Oh! And did I mention that it still hurts? If not -- OOOWWW!!! IT STILL HURTS!!!!

I suppose if things don't improve in the next couple days I'll go visit the doctor so I can have the pleasure of experiencing that classic conversation:

Me: Doc. It hurts when I do this...

Doc: Well. Don't do that. Now give me your $5 co-pay...

In the mean time, I will continue to listen to the soothing sounds of Delerium, and wait for that ever elusive excitement to happen by.


july 17

The intelligence of our local media:

One local news station promoted a special report all weekend about how 1/2 of America is sleep deprived, and they promised to show everyone Ways to Improve Sleep! When did they plan to show this potentially life changing report??? On Sunday night's 11 PM news cast. DERRRR!! It's like nobody had to get up early for work on Monday!

Here's a tip from yours truly on how to improve your sleep habits immediately. Try falling asleep BEFORE the 11 PM news even comes on!


july 14

I checked my web stats this morning and you know what? My readership is going up, and my 'MESSAGE' page is now the number 3 page accessed on my site. THANKS!!!

Now, I'm sure this doesn't mean that any of you agree with me, or that any of you can even relate to the stuff I'm writing about, but at least some of you are finding my meanderings interesting enough to return every so often to see whassup. Unless of course this is some sort of conspiracy and all the people on the ticker are separate individuals that have accidently stumbled onto my page thinking it was some sort of 'animal love' porn site. Then after reading the stuff they quickly click back to a porn site -- shaking their head in disgust, proclaiming "That guy is sick! At least I know what I'm getting here!" and then they never coming back. Then, to play a joke on their porn-hungry pals, they send them a link to this site, telling them that it's just about the sickest stuff they've ever seen -- which is good within the porn community, so I'm told -- and the cycle continues. But you know, there's always that one chance in a thousand -- OK, million -- that some porn fiend might actually find this stuff intriguing enough to come back every now and then. After all, if I could get just one porn fan in a million to read something for a change, who knows, maybe in a couple years I'll have nearly a hundred readers a month! Pretty lofty thinking I know, I mean assuming that porn denizens can read is kind of stretch but...

I'm kidding! Jeez! Of course they can read. They learned to do that during their porn 'bush-league' days after discovering their old man's Playboy stash hidden behind the hot water heater in the basement underneath a big stack of 'Boys Life' and 'National Geographic.' I mean, they had to learn to read because they needed to legitimize that lie about 'reading the articles' in case someone actually called their bluff!!

Anyway, if this is what's really happening here, and I have nothing but porn fans visiting my page, I blame the Democrats -- for obvious reasons...

I must apologize here to any porn fans for assuming that you would understand what those 'obvious reasons' actually are, or for assuming that you even know what a -- come on, sound it out with me now, you can do it -- 'dem-o-krat' is. Also, if you are a porn fan and have inadvertantly ended up here by your own meandering, or if you were sent here as the butt of a genuinely cruel joke, here's some place you can go for some REALLY sick stuff -- www.jimmyswaggart.com.

Oh well, please remember that your comments, your praise, your disdain, your -- whatever -- are always welcome. Just e-mail me -- K???

OK. Now that the porn crowd has been diverted for a while, let's talk about something else.

I have no anger today -- cool huh? I was able to shed that pretty well on Tuesday. (see my July 11 'rant' below) However I am really tired today -- yawn. Summer time here in the great Northwest always has its perks -- and I love them, really I do -- but it also has its drawbacks; especially for those of us that choose to get up at 4:15 AM to go to work. Thanks to the fact that we are blessed with daylight here until nearly 10:00 PM most days during this time of year, summer activities -- even on weeknights -- tend to go late. Often I don't get to bed until 10:30 PM, which is WAY too late when you have a 4:15 AM wake up call. You see, I find it REALLY tough to go to bed when it's still light out -- don't you? -- although I know that I should. Well anyway, this week has been no exception to this nasty little summertime pattern. I've been averaging a 10 PM bed time, but last night I didn't go to bed until 11:30 PM! To say that I am a bit 'groggy' today would be an understatement -- yeesh! Rummy is a good word to describe my current state, so let's go with that. My goal is to eventually improve to 'extremely drowsy' sometime today -- perhaps after I finish my coffee.

Despite being tired, I enjoy the early shift -- especially during summertime -- know why? That's right, I get off at 2 PM!!! YEAH!!! By then I've usually woken up enough to do something fun and exciting if the weather cooperates. The last 2 days I went golfing with my neighbor Jeff -- which was great.

So I suppose overall it balances out. Although I suffer from severe sleep deprivation for about 1/2 of each day, I get to go home and enjoy a lot more of a sunny afternoon than most -- so I suppose it's worth it. Plus, I get to sleep in on weekends until about 7:30 or 8:00. I know to most people that probably isn't 'sleeping in' but to someone that normally gets up at 4:15, it definitely is. That 3 extra hours of sleep are nice, plus I don't sleep so late that I miss the entire weekend!!!

And with that, I'll wish you all a very happy weekend and thank you once again for choosing me over porn! If you actually do, that is...

* The above ramblings about 'porn fans' is not meant as a slam to the hardcore porn industry or it's many fans. It's a joke people! For I too, like so many others, enjoy a good skin flick from time to time.

"Variety’s the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I’m in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Some times it’s a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it’s girl-on-girl time. Sometimes a steamy letter will do it, sometimes - not often, but sometimes - I like the idea of a chick with a horse."

Jason Lee as 'Banky' in Chasing Amy -- 1997


july 11

So is anyone else just REALLY SICK and TIRED of the media in Seattle and all the frenzy surrounding the trumped up 'race' issues that seem to be at epidemic levels lately???

First, there's the mentally ill shoplifter who, after swiping some juice from the Queen Anne Safeway, took a shot at a security guard during his flight, and then held a group of people -- including police -- at bay with a kitchen knife. After a few nerve racking moments of attempted negotiation, the man started skipping up the street toward another large group of people -- still wielding his knife. As he picked up his pace and neared the crowd that included police hollering loudly for him to stop, it became clear that this guy just wasn't listening. With the police and public now in danger of him rushing up and stabbing someone, and after he failed to comply with the continued pleas for him to stop, the police had no choice but to fire their weapons. Unfortunately the man died from his wounds.

Now, to me, the fact that this guy was putting both the police and the public at extreme risk should be enough to warrant the police action. Knowing that he'd already shot at a security guard is just the clincher. Unfortunately, to many others, the fact that this person happened to be a black man with a mental condition was more important -- and ultimately the reason he was shot and killed. WHAT?

Some people in the black community actually feel that had this person been white, the police wouldn't have shot him. HUH? I suppose it should be OK for folks with mental conditions to kill a few citizens now and then without fear of any sort of consequence -- no matter their race -- right? I mean, this is America after all...

Yes. It is tragic when anyone dies at the hand of violence. And yes it's sad that this guy -- who probably had no idea what he was doing, forced police into a situation where they had no choice, but what ever happened to personal accountability??? Even if this guy was unable to acount for himself, what about the folks that knew that he was capable of doing this and the possible consequences??? Why wasn't someone watching this guy more closely for his own safety??? Someone like his sister -- for instance -- who is now suing the City of Seattle for negligence.

After listening to all the senseless rhetoric and groundless accusations that have been swirling around this issue I had to stop and ask myself this; what would have happened if this guy had actually killed someone before the police shot him? I figure that if that actually happened, then people would be pissed off because police didn't stop him quicker! After all, "He'd already shot at a security guard and was chasing a crowd with a large knife for God's sake!" My best guess is that the police just can't win, no matter how they handle a situation. It's the old "Damned if you. Damned if you don't." scenario.

This is further evidenced by the young black man that recently tried to rob a bank in North Seattle.

Here's the deal, this young man and his Hispanic cohort entered a Well's Fargo branch on June 22, 2000 with intentions of robbing it. Before these two felons could make a clean get-away, the cops crashed their little money grabbing party. A shootout ensued. One police officer got hit three times and the young man's Hispanic buddy fell dead in a hail of police bullets. Despite the fact that this entire neighborhood was crawling with police, the young black man was able to slip away during the chaos created by the gun fire. A couple blocks from the scene, this man invades an elderly couple's home, beats them, ties them up, threatens their lives and paces around their house for about an hour -- unbeknownst to police. Finally, after threatening to kill the couple unless they give him their car, he uses their phone to call a buddy to come pick him up. Eventually his pal shows up -- inconspicuously -- to complete his not-so-clean getaway.

Based on evidence gathered from the scene and from the investigation of his dead partner, as well as some eye witness testimony, the police figure out who this elusive bank robber is after a couple days. The biggest break, and absolute clincher to his true identity, came when the older couple that he'd terrorized for a couple hours fingered him in a photo line up.

SO now this arrogant son-of-a-bitch, knowing that they have him, gets himself a couple of lawyers who then go to the media to reveal that the suspect is ready to turn himself in, but won't because he's afraid that the police will harm him because of all that happened -- especialliy the fact that an officer was shot during the robbery attempt. WELL NO FUCKING DUH!!! Now I'm not saying that police should beat the hell out of this guy, but -- once again -- what the hell ever happened to personal accountability??? Also, what about charging these lawyers with 'aiding and abeting' and 'harboring a fugitive from the law'???

Once again, the community at large is divided. It seems clear to me though what's happening here is this, "If all else fails, play the race card" -- use the big race smokescreen to detract from the fact that these people are CRIMINALS!!! Regardless of whether they are blue, green, yellow or purple -- they broke the law and harmed -- or attempted to harm -- law abiding citizens of all races in the process!!! SO here we have another case where the criminal ends up having more rights than the victims. I mean, if race is such an issue, how come people aren't clamoring that the police shot the other bank robber merely because he was Hispanic??? After all, the cops have it out for all minorities don't they???

No. I am NOT a racist. Don't believe me? How about this, I believe that the two young Vietnamese men that stabbed a white guy to death in Ocean Shores last week were justified in their actions -- for the most part. I mean, after this guy and his 9 friends shouted racial slurs at them, intimidated them and then punched one of the young men in the face so hard that it sent his glasses flying -- for no reason other than they were Vietnamese -- COME ON! These two young men must have felt like their lives were in danger, especially at 2 AM in a strange town and no one coming to their aid. After continued bullying and harrassment, one of the boys ran back into the store, got a knife for protection, then proceeded to stab his tormentor 22 times. Now this is why I say their actions were justified 'for the most part'. Stabbing someone 22 times seems excessive, but if you are fearing for your life and surrounded by 10 guys yelling racial epithets at you, your adrenaline has to be flowing pretty good. My guess is that he probably stabbed this bully 22 times before he even knew what he was doing.

Think that maybe the Vietnamese guys started it? NOPE! These two weren't the only minorities to report a problem with this group of idiots the same day; July 4, 2000, the birthday of America -- "Land of the free..." It seems that this group of young white supremacists were tormenting a group of 14 Philipino tourists to the point that one of them nearly pulled a gun on them himself out of fear of his ife and the lives of his friends. After some careful consideration he thought better of it and reported the incident to the police instead. As did a black man harrassed by this same group earlier in the day while he was riding a moped on the beach. It seems these young ambassadors from this ocean community were waving a rebel flag at him and calling him some pretty nasty names.

Now, shouting demeaning things at people for no other reason other than the color of their skin, hitting people in the face just because they are Vietnamese, and waving a confederate flag at someone just because they are black -- NOW THAT'S RACISM. Shooting someone because they are wielding a knife and putting people's lives in danger, and arresting a criminal because he robbed a bank, shot at police and held private citizens hostage in their own home is NOT! See the difference???

When this dead thug's friends were questioned by police later, they said that the individual that died "Wasn't shouting racial slurs because he was a racist, he just liked to fight and was looking for one." Well he found one finally, and this time he lost -- BIG TIME!

Yes. Racism is a problem in the US and in Washington state. However, the first two examples I cited above show just how much people hide behind racism as a justification for their criminal behavior and I think that is dispicable! The latter is an example of the potential consequences of genuine racism. As in the case of that poor black man from Texas -- Mr. Byrd -- it's usually the minority target that ends up dead. In this case, it was the racist that ended up paying the ultimate price for his actions. Yes, the young Vietnamese men's actions seem a bit extreme, and killing someone is wrong, but were you actually there to see what was happening? Did you actually feel the fear they did? It will be interesting to see how this whole issue unfolds over the next few months. One thing is for sure though, none of this will do anything to calm the storm of racial hysteria surrounding the Seattle area, and being pushed heavily by the local media this summer. Sometimes I wonder if the media isn't the biggest part of the whole problem???

Still think I'm a racist??? Too bad. That's your problem.

I could go on, but I won't. I'll consider that to be my two-cents. What's yours???


july 6

How was your INDEPENDENCE DAY? Mine was fun -- thanks for asking. As promised, I ate a ton of food and blew shit up. Ah... if only everyday was Independence Day!

This year there were about 150 people at the neighborhood shindig. We all combined our explosives and put on quite a show from Jeff and Susan's back yard. The biggest surprise of the day? NO RAIN! Yah, I couldn't believe it either. It was actually almost nice. I even got to wear shorts, and with a bit of a tan leftover from California I don't think my legs blinded anyone this year!! BONUS!!

I'm still working on the travelogue for the Jeterville SoCal Theme Park 2000 Tour and I'm up to day 3 out of 8+, so I AM making progress -- really! I'd better hurry though, because the weather is starting to get REALLY nice and I actually had a *TWINGE* yesterday that indicated that I will soon be in full summer mode! And to quote my very friend Joanne -- WOO! HOO! Big plans this weekend include a trip to the beach. Although I'm sure it will be swell, it probably won't come anywhere close to just how glorious Mission Beach in San Diego was last week. Why even try to compare... Oh well. I suppose I'll just buy my huge bag of salt water taffy that they sell everywhere in Washington beach communities -- I think it's a law or something -- and be happy!

On a more personal note, ARIANA -- Thanks so much for the link! I'll reciprocate if you'd like? I know that you know what 'reciprocate' means. I expect the rest of you sick bastards that think it's something else to look it up in Mr. Webster's Good Book before you make any snide remarks! I am hoping that perhaps someone from your set can supply some 'RAGE' so that I can have something new for that page! My regular readers don't seem nearly as angry as they used to be. What's up with that? I'm fearing I may have to shut that part of my site off???

You know, after reading your latest poem it seems that you're pretty happy too! I'm so glad! Keep it up girl! ----- Crap! Now I seem to be happy too?!?! Oh well. After all...



july 3

So. What did you do last week??? Really? That sounds ...

a. FUN
d. None of the Above

...you pick.

ME??? Well I returned on Saturday afternoon from a VERY nice, VERY relaxing vacation in Southern California.

Although I'm sure I won't be able to match the brilliance of Allison's trip log (see last months 'message') I will compose a nice little travelogue with highlights -- and what not -- and post it here within the next few days. It may not be comprehensive, but it will give you a taste of my experience in the land where dreams come true. Don't believe me? Just ask Shaq.

So tomorrow is Independence Day. How come no one refers to it by it's proper name any more? Maybe in this world dominated by folks with short attention spans it serves as a way to remember what day it falls on? I mean, how many people could tell me what day Flag Day is? Perhaps if we just started referring to it as The 14th of June, people would have an easier time of it. What's your favorite Holiday? Mine is The Fourth Thursday of November -- more commonly known as Thanksgiving.

But I digress.

Anyway, I plan to whoop it up tomorrow to celebrate this country's freedom from British rule by consuming tons of food and blowing shit up! Per usual, all of us here in the Northwest will be celebrating in the rain. I am constantly amazed how the weather always changes just in time for the 4th. Last week it was in the 90s here, however no one seemed too concerned as they all knew that the 4th of July was coming, and with it would come temperature relief, as well as rain to feed their starving lawns. In my entire life -- nearly 37 years -- I can honestly remember only 2 or 3 Independence Days where I actually got a sun burn!

Oh well. I plan to celebrate just as much, despite the weather, and hope you do too! Have a good -- and safe -- one, and I'll work on that travelogue...




home....links....about jeterville

Creative Stuff



rage home...archive


contact jeterville...